America!

I'm sitting here in Steini's room at the moment. It's amazing to think that I'd actually have a chance to meet my Final Fantasy XI friends. It's awesome.

We're seeing Mount Eerie tonight!

Handsome Furs

So I watched Handsome Furs live at Home Club on Friday. It was awesome! We're lucky that they had an Asia tour or they wouldn't even stop by here. Not even a lot of mainstream bands play here, let alone indie bands.

We got there very early. Better to be early, I thought. We sat around outside the club while Handsome Furs did their sound check. When it was time, we went in, got the free beer that came with the entry fee and chose the table closet to the stage. And on the way to the toilet before the show, I saw Dan and he started whistling. XD

The club wasn't very big, but it was pretty packed. I don't think a lot of people there really knew them, except for those right in the front actively dancing and armed with video cameras. I was right at the back, and I would say I had a great view because I was standing on a chair the whole time. Well it was necessary, I was like a dwarf compared to the Caucasians, haha. My friend and I wanted to record the whole show, but his card ran out of memory after one song, so we had to fall back on only photos. My camera was absolutely atrocious, I don't think it had a stabalizer or anything, so the pictures I took were all blurred.

The songs were great. They opened with "Legal Tender" and went on to play songs from both their albums. I've only heard Face Control, so I don't know the ones from Plague Park. They didn't play "Thy will be done" though, that's my favourite.

After the show we followed them outside and I approached them for a photo. Then I proceeded to tell Dan and Alexei what a great show it was, and I told Dan that I was a big fan of Wolf Parade as well. He said something about this place being very cool. I don't quite remember because I was completely overwhelmed by their presence, it was unbelieveable. Then my friend asked if they were going to come back, and Dan said he was just talking to Krug on Skype about it, and they might get Wolf Parade to come down in March next year. After a final handshake we left, tired but happy.

So that was the Handsome Furs night. I'll be seeing Mount Eerie and Sunset Rubdown in Denver soon, and it'll be spectacular.

Fifty Dead Men Walking

I had probably the best breakfast of my life yesterday. I mean, it's pretty standard, but I've never eaten such a filling breakfast before; most of the time I just skip it altogether(like most people, I'd presume).

I don't have pictures, it's in my friend's camera, but there was bread, muffins, scones, orange juice, muesli, yoghurt, cocoa crunch and milk, salad, scrambled eggs, chicken sausage, some fruits and coffee.

All that mixture of food made my stomach somewhat uncomfortable after, but then again my stomach is always sensitive to a lot of things.

And then after a movie(it's the title) I had my favourite kebabs. Beef ones sold out as I had anticipated, but the chicken is really good too. I just like beef more.

In 2 weeks I'd finally be out of this place. Work, that is. Holidays never looked better.

Something I'm looking for

I've been looking for something fun to play on the piano recently. I mean, apart from the duet I was supposed to work on with someone.

I'll be honest. I'm the type who gets bored with the same piece after a while. Don't get me wrong - I do love the music I play, but it just gets kind of dull. I just have to keep finding new songs to keep myself entertained and after some time I will pick up those songs to play them once more.

Like how I finally picked up "Those who fight" (from FFVII) the other day after a few years. I was sick of that piece because I had to practice it nearly everyday for my exams. I couldn't play with the same accuracy I once had, but it was, after all those years, actually refreshing to play it again.

I am looking at this certain piece I chanced upon on youtube. It's called Hidamari, composed by Yukie Nishimura. Hidamari means sunshine I think, and it is a very beautiful piece. Now normally I'm not a huge fan of playing those really emotional, lyrical kind of pieces (I'm really a Swimming kind of person), but this one is too beautiful to pass up.

I can't really find any sheet music for that though, so I'm looking through her other works. And if anyone has any recommendations on what to play, please let me know.

At work right now, and listening to some Bad Weather California. Awesome songs.

Ashes to ashes

I almost blew up my workplace yesterday.

I was trying to toast some bread and stupidly placed a paper plate by mistake inside the toaster.

Four minutes later the resulting smell was not that of bread but of burnt paper. Thankfully, I had stopped it in time. Should it have been toasted for a couple more minutes it would've caught in flames, I presume.

I couldn't stop laughing at my own stupidity for a good 30 minutes after that.

Rabbit Tails & Meatballs

Why Usagimaru? Why rabbit tails and meatballs?

I don't think anyone really knows, so I'll share this today. Nothing special, really.

So back then when I first got my PS2, the first game I got with it was dot hack. And in the second installment of this series(mutation), was this character called Nuke Usagimaru. I could stop here and you might guess that I took and used the name from there, but why exactly?

Usagimaru was a pretty interesting character. He was trying to be a stand-up comedian, and that's exactly how you get to meet him in the game. He was looking for an audience, and despite his rather lame jokes, which promptly caused everyone watching to leave, Kite(the main character) stayed behind and followed him all the way to the lowest level of the dungeon. "Tis' an actor's job to perform, even with just one audience member!", he chirps enthusiatically, before running off to the basement.

It is there that you save his life and he, out of gratitude, gives you his member address, effectively joining your list of available party members.

What I like about him is that he's a Long Arm(the name of the class which wields spears), and you don't get many in the game. The only other one is Gardenia, who is pretty cold and aloof, and while she goes get some interesting conversations I don't like her all too much. Well not only that, his hair is awesome.

So, not long later I got the game Final Fantasy XI Online(it's years back now), and I was deciding on a name to use for my newly created character. I wanted something unique, yet not too farfetched that I can't connect with. (Yeah, I get really picky when it comes to giving names.)

You already know the answer - I settled for Usagimaru.

Usagi means "rabbit" in Japanese. Maru means "circle". But when placed in a name it means "male". Simply put Usagimaru means "male rabbit".

In my early days of FFXI I met this very nice guy called Axl. He's American, but was living in Japan at the time. It was he who told me that Usagimaru could mean "rabbit tail" or "meatball" in Japanese slang. I guess it isn't that difficult to infer why.

So there you go, Usagimaru, rabbit tails and meatballs.

P.S. I realize I got a bit carried away when talking about who the hell Usagimaru is. I could've cut to the chase, but I figured the background information might be interesting to anyone who actually bothers.

Distant Worlds

Distant Worlds: Music from Final Fantasy was simply awesome.

Considering this is the first time ever in my life to attend a Final Fantasy concert, it isn't an exaggeration to say that I nearly had tears of joy.

When they started playing the opening piece "Liberi Fatali" I couldn't help but smile. I was in so much awe.

The performance was great, despite a few audible mistakes and the lack of "oomph" in certain pieces, I feel. And in my opnion the soloist for Distant Worlds didn't really manage to capture the essence of the song and project more emotion. I guess I had really high expectations for the song, since it is from Final Fantasy XI, after all.

Probably the best thing was that Nobuo Uematsu was just sitting a few rows in front of me. It was so spectacular when he graced us with his presence.

I didn't manage to get the CD or the artbook there, but what I did manage to get was a T-shirt, and both Nobuo Uematsu's and Arnie Roth's autographs! It was a pity that I was so stunned at the moment that I forgot to shake Uematsu-san's hand. All I did was say ありがとうございます！He responded likewise. It was absolutely awesome to recieve the autographed booklet directly from possibly the greatest composer in video game music.

I can die happy now. Well almost, hahaha.

Panic

The logic for my image transfer project is more or less established, but I simply cannot get the application to run properly. It keeps causing a panic, if that's what they call it.

Come Tuesday is already my diploma recital exam. Thursday would be the final presentation for our project. I cannot express how stressed out I am at this point. And I know with too much stress I start to panic. I can't do things properly.

I think I was going crazy just staring at the screen trying to solve the logic error. I have pinpointed the exact cause of the problem, but I simply do not know how to solve it.

Probably the worst thing ever in programming is that you know the error but you can't solve it. It quite clearly exemplifies "so near, yet so far", to an extent.

Fuck programming, I tell you. Fuck programming.

I swear I am never going to do this in the future.

I should update

I should get around to updating the links here - they're all outdated. I've been kind of busy so I haven't really been in the mood to edit the html.

Steini just started a blog, I'll link that up soon. It showcases the music of himself and his comrades. (as he put it XD)

Well, apart from that, school's been as fun as ever. I can't wait for it to end.

19th May

My parents' wedding anniversary.

More importantly, my piano diploma recital examination.

They just sent me the date and venue today. It never felt this near before.

With all this shit happening in school I'm so fucking out of mood I'm not sure if I can even express my music properly.

I don't think I can. Music is so dependant on mood I cannot even express anything. I'm not a professional. I'm just someone trying to take his exam.

Stress is there, no doubt. But it isn't just that. It's about what's on your mind. And this is 30 minutes of playing, non stop. Concentration is quintissential.

I hope it gets better. I really do. If it doesn't, well, I'd have to waste one thousand bucks for my exam fees AND prepare ANOTHER repertoir considering this year's syllabus is different.

Parellel 5ths

It's ridiculous how much we're tied down in this place. The more I sit at the computer at the FYP labs the more I loathe it.

Fucking programming. I don't go to school to sit at the PC for 10 hours and fry my brain cells. Those who can, good for them. As they say, there's something for everyone. I'm not cut out to do this.

And it's not like we can do any of the shit we're supposed to do, either. It's difficult to the point where I can stare at the codes for a week and not understand a single thing.

I just want to play on my piano. I get so little practice recently because of the long days. And sometimes, I just can't into the mood to play any music. Mood is a very important thing; you just need one lousy day of school to ruin it all. Though it's not like I really want it to.

I'm just trying to get through this. I have to, because I'm not alone on this project. If I were alone, I'd have said "to hell with this" long ago.

Honestly, if it wasn't for the people I've met and befriended I wouldn't even bother with this school any longer.

Dissonances

One can't help but be cynical at many things. Perhaps even at everything.

Sometimes you just got to forget about those petty annoyances. I'd go as far as to say I've tried to be nonchalant to all of them, but it doesn't work that way.

Somehow these all come back and kick you in the ass. You can't shun them aside, or rather, you can, but their return is inevitable.

I'm just doing what I can to be myself. I try to be nice and help people when I can, but I wonder if this is even enough. People's actions certainly don't express that.

Like I said I've been trying to shut off these thoughts all the time. I try to see the world as it is, but I think at some point this is too shallow. The world is far more than that. Deep down people have intentions that you'd never think of. Good or bad, for whatever reason there is.

I'm fine now. I just had to get things off my head. They might not be coherent but that's how they came out.

I don't know; they'll return soon enough.

Atonalism

Sometimes it's pretty strange to think about things in images, rather than words. My memory tends to always replay scenes in images. Certain scenes often playback clearly in my mind.

The airplane incident when I was like 5 years old, on the way to Hong Kong.

The nightmare I had when I was 6, which involved yet another image "forming" in my mind.

The event 2 years ago, which made me afraid of him.

There're many others, but some of these remain the most significant.

I need to focus. My piano exam's coming, and I am not improving, at least the way I see it. It lacks... Emotion.

I haven't thought about what I'd do in future. I cannot see much happening.

Maybe this dissonant piece isn't helping. Maybe I'm tired. Maybe it's both.

I should go to sleep.

Silence

I can't really sleep. I have to be up at 7 everyday but I can't even get to sleep until 2, at least. I don't really know why this is the case.

I'm on the verge of losing my voice, for a bit. Since Saturday's barbeque my voice has become really hoarse. It's been on and off though, so I'm not sure how it would be.

If you haven't noticed already everything I've said thus far expresses a certain level of uncertainly. I'm not even sure about what I'm doing in school recently. There's been a few nice people that I've met, but the school work's really a chore. It's almost impossible.

It's only 12:50AM right now. I have about an hour. Maybe I'll listen to Swan Lake and Persona 4 OST and maybe, just might be able to get to sleep. I don't know.

Bethena: A Concert Waltz

I've been somewhat confused as to what I have been doing.

Since the last project ended it was just more or less studying for exams. And there were only 3 papers, no big deal. I guess the third year sort of looms ahead rather menacingly. Our break has been reduced to a pathetic 5 days becuase of it, which starts today, incidentally. I'm not going to plan anything, since most of it would be used for catching up on sleep anyway.

I was afraid that my piano exam and my final year project would clash at some point. I mean, I already signed up for it, and since I just knew that I was dispatched to the dreaded "fish tank" (project area), it's not very good news for my schedule. I just hope I don't end up failing my exam or something, since the fees are up to a thousand dollars. Also, next year's syllabus is different, so I'd have to change my repertoire, and that means more time wasted to learn new songs.

The way I look at it, there just isn't enough time. Perhaps I worry too much. I don't know.

Presto - The Rush

There won't be anything new for about another week or so.

Chinese New Year was just 2 days ago, and then we gotta make the mad rush for our semester project. Deadline's Monday and I haven't really done anything. At this point, I'm just aiming to pass, but definitely not at the expense of my group members. If there's anything needed done so they don't get penalized I'll have to do it.

Thank you, procrastination.